They do not like to be
hurried at all. For the French, the
enjoyment of food is very important and eating out in bistros or restaurants is
treated as an experience.
The first few times when
we ate out, we felt that the service was slow. Waiters took a long time to take
our orders, serve the food, and one of our biggest pet peeve, to bring the bill
when we asked for it. As a result, we kept hurrying the waiter for the bill, to
take our orders etc and we would just be replied with a very curt “J’arrive.”
We found this rude and compared this to Singapore, where we would not get such ‘poor’
service.
However after some time, I
realised the importance of meals to the French and that they simply enjoy them.
This does not include just the food but the entire dining experience with the
company of friends and family. This
reveals the difference in eating culture between Singapore and France. Singaporeans are usually in a hurry, and
meals are often taken quickly when eating out, with the exceptions of dates on
weekends. We expect fast service and efficiency. This contrasts to the French who can have meals
that span a couple of hours, my longest being 3 hours.
Overtime, we learnt not to
expect quick efficient service while eating out. Hence whenever we did so, we tried to ensure
that we were not on a tight schedule. I
also learnt the beauty of having slow unhurried meals. We enjoyed each other’s
company more and could chat more. I am
glad to have had this insight during my exchange. Lastly, while I have a
greater appreciation for leisurely meals and service when eating out, I have to
say more often than not I prefer the quick efficient service in Singapore. :p
Hi Priscilla, it was a very applicable post on intercultural behavior.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your point relating about the fast pace life with our eating patterns in Singapore as compared to France.
Apart from the diners point of view, if we look at some restaurants in Singapore, they even have scheduled timing for customers to finish their meals during festive period. This goes to shows the vast difference in the conception of eating in Singapore to France.
To the light of your post, I'm glad you and your friends were awared of this 'eating pattern' and adapted well to suit their lifestyle.
Overall, I think it's okay for us to make mistake for our ignorance at the start. However, it is most important to learn and make up for it when we realize the problem later :)
Thanks for sharing this with us. Cheers!
Hi Yiqun,
DeleteThanks for your comment! Yup it is common for restaurants in Singapore to have 1st or 2nd seating so customers would not hog tables and thus they can have double the revenue. I guess you would rarely find that in France! There are many other differences too, for example they start eating dinner rather late at around 8-8.30pm. I'm glad we realised this too or we would have annoyed so many people. (:
Hi Priscilla,
ReplyDeleteYour post reminds me of a Mireille Guiliano's 'French Women Dont Get Fat' book. I have not read the book but chanced upon an interview with the author when her book was first published. Basically, this book is a non-diet book and focuses on the French's eating patterns that enabled them to stay slim and healthy. It does not promote dieting, but aims to change people's lifestyle patterns and their mindset towards eating. It advocates that eating is a pleasurable activity and needs to be enjoyed slowly so that the flavours can be savoured. By taking our time to relish our food it enhances our experience of consuming food. That aside, it also prevents us from over-consuming because we give our brain sufficient time to recognise when we are full. (Well, since knowing this concept of eating, it has shaped by personal eating patterns.)
The great emphasis on food and the dining experience could be the reason why the French are motivated to create exquisite dishes and a nice ambiance for diners. Thus heralding their cuisine to be the pinnacle of the fine dining culinary scene.
As I live by the French's perspective when it comes to eating, I experience the contrast between me and other Singaporeans. Often, I am usually the last to finish and can take up to forty-five minutes to an hour to have a meal, while my peers are usually done in twenty minutes. Therefore I can relate to the subject matter of your post.
All in all, this is an enjoyable read and thank you for sharing your experience with us! :)
Hi Carol
DeleteThank you for your comment! I have heard of this book as well and it sounded interesting. The French really take pride in their cuisine and just a random fact, but did you know that UNESCO has declared the French cuisine a world intangible heritage? It is a list compiled by UNESCO which strives to protect and create awareness of cultures, hence intangible. I guess this pretty much sums up how important this culture is to them. However the idea of a elaborate 3 course meal is usually only for special occasions.
It is good to hear that you are one of the rarer Singaporeans who prefer to enjoy your meals ;)
Hi Priscilla,
ReplyDeleteYou pointed out a very good difference between our food culture and that of the French.
I've always been a firm believer in the slow food movement even though I myself am unable to do out for more than an hour. That you were given a somewhat curt response to your constant haranguing of the waiter can be understood from that point of view.
Unlike in most Asian countries where the fast pace of life is reflected even in the our mealtimes, I've always envied the French for being able to have meals that last anywhere between three to five hours. There is a certain appreciation and respect we give to the chef/cook who made the meal when we take the time to savor each bite. However, I think that this mindset isn't reflected in Asian countries because food is primarily a way for us to replenish our energy.
Regarding your encounter, I do wonder how much of it was due to your own behavior as Asians and how much of it was due to the waiter's perception of you and your friends.
Thank you for sharing your concise and well-written post.
Hi Jie Ying
DeleteFor your question, perhaps the waiter was being rude and not giving full attention to us as we are not locals hence he does not need to be give us that good service. I think we asked for the bill twice, and perhaps that is a lot for the French. It would have implied that we are impatient and perhaps he found it annoying because he was already very busy. I will never really know!
I guess Asians are more work and results oriented and we have the mindset of making full use of our time. Hence why spend 2 hours over lunch when you could just take half an hour to eat and after that do more work or take a nap?
I guess this is what makes each culture different and distinct. For the Japanese, they spend a lot more time on their food as well, from the preparation to the exquisite presentation of the food.
Thank you, Priscilla, for sharing with us your restaurant experience in France, initiated as it was with an explanation of the simple phrase: j'arrive. In that way you have stimulated our thoughts, and then proceeded to expound on the typical behavior of French waiters and diners. I can appreciate your initial frustration, having to wait for food, bill, etc.. I and apparently a number of your other readers have had a similar experience, so what you write easily resonates with us. I like the way, too, that you offer insights on what is valued in French society compared to Singaporean society regarding efficiency in dining.
ReplyDeleteWhat you have not explained though is why the French may have the patience to sit over food for so many hours. What's happening there? I have my own ideas, but I'd like to hear yours.
Hi Priscilla,
ReplyDeleteyour sharing has brought to my mind what a French friend of mine once mentioned about the French. He said that a few generations ago, the French were like the Singaporeans and Hong Kongers of today, working doubly-hard in both education and career. Their society developed extensively. Then, soon after their society became well-developed, they started to tone down on the working intensity. Today, it is common for them to end work at 3pm and go home to spend time with their family, or go out with their friends. Their society does not emphasise on hard work as much anymore, rather, they emphasise on strong relations. The French would probably think that we Singaporeans senselessly rush from place to place, and are obsessed with economic growth.
Since we have vastly different worldviews, we have to withhold judgment and try to understand each other's differences. I for one feel that a significant proportion of Singaporeans are indeed overworked, to the point whereby they neglect their children and spouse. Understanding the situation Singaporeans live in, I would say that 'culture' is not a valid reason here. It is not as if they are struggling to earn a living. On the other hand, I have little to comment on the French. I cannot say they are taking their current well-being for granted, for that they are lazy. That would be judging without understanding.
Well, I'm glad you shared this interesting experience with us =)
Very well told Pricilla! Reminds me of the fact that the French are known (recently at least) for the least number of working hours in the whole world. As Priya brought it up, I think as the basic important things are taken care of, like when you don't have to worry about your next meal, medical expenses and your education (read socialism), people tend to relax over time and develop a taste for simple joys in life. And your French dining experience just shows it!
ReplyDeleteWould be great to understand what actually goes on over the dinner table though. Do they chat over the dinner table and eat slow? And they do all their meals slow or only on specific days?
-EB